Things I’ve Learned in Two Years of Marriage
This week, Josiah and I celebrate two years of marriage and I can honestly say it’s been the best two years of my life. We’ve gone through college graduation, two rounds of having Covid, job changes, housemates, and getting pregnant. With all of these big life changes, we’ve learned a lot about each other and actively showing each other love even when it’s hard.
Whether you are single, engaged, or have been married for a while, hopefully you can resonate with at least one of these lessons and carry it with you into your relationships with others!
Lesson one: No one is a mind reader.
This one seems obvious, but is a reality that we often forget. If you need something from someone else, it’s unfair to expect them to just *know* what you need without coming forward and voicing it. Sometimes being with someone for a long time can lead to being able to anticipate some needs (ex: Josiah knows to get me fries from McDonalds even if I say that I don’t need fries, because as soon as I see his fries I will want fries), but we can’t take this for granted. Clear communication is key!
Lesson two: Money is hard and comes with a loooooot of baggage.
Josiah and I grew up in very different financial situations. Even after knowing each other for eight years, it can be easy to forget that the different ways we grew up really impact the way that we think and FEEL about money. If you’re getting serious in your relationship (or if you’ve been together forever), it’s really beneficial to sit down and have hard conversations about how you each think and feel about money, spending, and saving (I emphasize feel because sometimes our thinking brains and our feeling brains are not on the same page about things). Give yourselves grace as you work through this - it’s not a one conversation and everything is all good kind of topic.
Lesson three: Sex is important and worthy of your time and energy.
Yeah, I’m going there. If you have ever sat down and talked with me, I’ve probably brought up sex because I am an oversharer but also because it’s so so important and has been a real challenge in our relationship. Sex carries a whole lot of feelings with it, and it should! Sometimes those feelings are really difficult to talk about, especially when your body and your brain are not on the same page. It has taken us a lot of work to be able to be comfortable to really voice how we feel about sex (or lack thereof) and we are still growing in this! I feel like I could write a whole book about our experience, but I’ll leave it at this for now. If this hits a chord with you, know that you’re always welcome to reach out! I talk about this so openly because I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it and sometimes you just need a listening ear.
Marriage is hard and beautiful and so so worth it. It is one of my favorite gifts from God. Here’s to another year of learning and growing - this time with a little one added to the mix!
